The Perfect Tree
by fleurily
Summary: The Noah Family's quest for the perfect Christmas tree. One of twentyfive for a Livejournal challenge.


Tiki Mick was the first to wake up on the first of December, dark hair pulled back in a careless ponytail and slippers sheltering his feet from the chill of the wooden floors as he crept down the stairs to get the hot drinks ready for the soon-to-be-roused children. Nobody was especially happy in the early morning hours, and Tiki was all too aware how much easier it was to deal with everyone when they were provided with something warm to sip on. Soft footsteps upstairs marked the beginning of the Earl's rounds, doors opening and closing with quiet care as he checked each room for its proper occupants. The Millennium Earl found this season to be especially delightful for bonding time, and as such the doors to the house were all securely locked to deter the mischievous members of the clan from attempting to sneak away in the middle of the night. Today was the day that even the twins and Rhode looked forward to: On this frigid morning, they would all hike out to the middle of some godforsaken forest on a quest for the perfect tree. Tiki wasn't a very big fan of the temperature, really, but the opportunity to chuck the little monsters in some immensely large snowdrifts was always a delight. For now, though... He turned the heat up on the stove with a soft sigh, accepting the mug of coffee the unobtrusive akuma had apparently had waiting for him. The peace of the early morning would only last so long, and he knew it was best to enjoy it while he had the opportunity.

The Earl passed by the kitchen doorway several minutes later with a rather large assortment of shiny things in hand, smile bright enough to make Tiki cringe in anticipation. He thanked God every year he managed to wake up before this travesty. Leaning back on the counter, the Noah closed his eyes with a soft sigh, taking a sip of coffee and waiting for the imminent racket that was about to erupt several yards above his head.

He did not expect the music, though he had steeled himself. The quiet akuma maid had turned the phonograph resting on the kitchen counter on, a rather raucous recording of 'Holy Night' blaring in Tiki's left ear as a hearty laugh and the sound of bells started upstairs.

"Good morning! Rise and shine, now, we must get ready for December!" Tiki had to wonder what the twins had been doing to make them fall out of bed at the exact same time, identical thuds of bony body on the hardwood floor. "Rhode, what have I told you about your dolls? Come on, get up!" There was the familiar whine, the sound of something dismembered being scattered off the bed as she began the reluctant crawl to the bath. "Lulubelle! Get some clothing on for a trip out of doors!" Oh, ugh. Tiki had forgotten her. Bloody nuisance, that woman was. He wasn't setting out a dish of milk just so she could keep pretending she was a cat. She could drink coffee or hot chocolate like the rest of the family.

The twins were dressed and sliding down the banister by the time the Earl was opening the fifth door, coming into the kitchen with a tumbling mess of limbs as Rhode followed, tiny, stocking-covered feet padding down the stairs behind them. Tiki waited until they were finished wrestling into their seats before pouring the steaming chocolate into the mugs, carrying them to the table and warning of the heat before setting them down. Jasdero, of course, reached out for his immediately, a burnt tongue being averted by a slap to the shoulder from Debitt.

"I told you to be careful, brat!" Tiki snapped the words, sighing in irritation as the chocolate went splashing onto the table. He could already tell this was going to be a long, long December.

Lulubelle was the last to arrive in the entrance hallway, joining the small crowd of jostling Noah family members as they bundled into coats and scarves. Rhode was clinging to Tiki as he put on the knit hat she had given him as a gift, smiling as he ruffled her hair and wrapped a scarf around her neck. The twins were bouncing at the door, waiting for the Earl to open it so they could explode across the threshold. The instant the door swung inward, they were off, scampering out into the white morning like puppies being released from the kennel. The rest of the family fell into line as the Earl toddled out, heading toward the tree-covered hills behind the manor house. Several akuma trailed a safe distance behind, ready to distribute hot chocolate or tissues to the Noah clan as needed.

There was an abundance of firs in these woods, ranging from the small and scrawny to the massive and full. The true challenge of this event was not finding a suitable tree; the difficulty lay in finding a tree that the entire family could agree on. In past years, they had been stuck standing in between two perfectly wonderful trees until it was far past dusk while Rhode and Jasdebi fought out which would be the one cut down and dragged back to the house by the akuma. Tiki had finally pulled height authority and taken the one on the right, leaving the twins sulkier than ever and Rhode quite pleased with herself. This year, Tiki fully planned on being back at the house before two, even if he had to kill someone to achieve that goal.

An evening in front of the fire with a book, some hot brandy, and one of those nice cigars from the Earl's cabinet… If only silence was a guaranteed factor in that equation. Tiki knew better than to hope for that amount of peace unless the rest of the family was dead or scattered throughout the world. Thirty-two days, and then he would be able to go back to his friends. The Portuguese man sighed, breath swirling into a cloud of steamy air far above his head. Family was such a droll tradition, and he'd never been able to appreciate that until he'd become apart of this melting pot. Of course he cared for them, but sometimes love was just a step away from a particularly violent homicide. That one Exorcist, Daisya Berry or something like that, had been rather unfortunate in the fact that Tiki had been picturing Debitt hanging from that lamppost. He'd almost skipped off the scene, humming a lovely upbeat tune and smoking all the way. Debitt had been very irritated by Tiki's large grin the next time they'd met, hissing and spitting all over the place when he wouldn't tell him the cause of his amusement. It was times like that that made it all worthwhile.

The wad of ice hit him in the jaw at a velocity that was impossible to achieve with just a hand, knocking him off his feet and into three feet of frigid precipitation. Tiki roared a curse, scrambling to his feet just in time to see Jasdebi tucking their guns away and laughing hysterically beside Rhode. The little bastards had used their blue bomb on him! Three could certainly play that game, though, and Tiki was on top of the snow in an instant. The twins tried to struggle through the snow, but he came at them in a slide of vengeful intent, grabbing them by the back of the coats and hauling them up. Though dragging them along for a while would certainly be punishment enough, Tiki saw the perfect slope ahead, a drop off where the trees sank deeper in the snow but the stayed level enough with several yards of soft powder. The twins were lucky it was soft this time; he stopped sharply at the edge of the snowy abyss, releasing his hold on the boys and letting them fly. They screamed very nicely until they got mouths full of snow, two craters marking where they disappeared beneath the surface.

"That's what you get, brats!" Tiki sneered the words, hands proudly on his hips as he watched the pair start to struggle back to solid ground. Just as Tiki was about to move back to the grouping of the family, a tiny, sweater-cocooned missile attached itself to his back, sending him stumbling forward on the surface of the snow. He spun around, grinning at the squeals coming from the little girl as he caught hold of the arms around his neck. The last thing he wanted was to drop her into a tree or something, after all.

Rhode shrieked as a pair of hands popped out from under the snow, grabbing the dizzy Tiki's ankles and pulling him down sharply. The spinning threw off the center of gravity on that plan, however, sending Noah's Pleasure and Dreams tumbling down the slope with matched yelps of surprise. White and grey and green swirled about in a dizzying mess of icy speed, any attempt to slow down only sending them spinning violently in another direction. Tiki lost his grip on the younger Noah halfway down, reaching out to try and catch her again before finding himself against a tree trunk several dozen yards past the rest of family, one leg very thankfully saving his groin from any damage as the other dug into the snow. Rhode came sliding down right into him, landing on his stomach with a giggling gasp and a squeal as the snow from the branches above fell in a fluff of white, completely covering the both of them.

"That's the one!" Jasdebi looked quite pleased with himself, blonde and black hair covered in snow as he dug his way out of the ground. "The perfect tree!"

Rhode sputtered as Tiki shoved his way out of the fresh drift, an arm wrapped around the girl as they surfaced. "What's that?"

The Earl seemed delighted at the discovery, prancing toward the tree with a sound of enthusiasm. "Tiki-pon has found the perfect tree!"

Tiki almost opened his mouth to refute the usage of that damn nickname, but then Rhode was looking up as well, smile bright as the snow and eyes shining in excitement. "Look at it, Tiki! They're right!"

He sighed, stepping out and moving back to where he could see the entire plant well enough to judge it. It looked just like any other tree in the bloody forest, honestly, but Rhode made a sound of contentment as they stared, arms wrapped warmly around his neck as she snuggled close. "Don't you see it? Look at that. It's just _perfect_!"

Then he saw it- how morbidly fitting, really. The few surrounding trees were dead as could be, blackened frames of some disease or very well-controlled fire, leaving this supposed pinnacle of the art of arbor standing alone in the midst of the clearing. It was just about the right size for the house, too, though Tiki knew if he said that out loud he'd get groaned at for being practical. His facial expression barely betrayed his thoughts, though one eyebrow did rise curiously. "Why this one, again?"

"Because it topped your sorry ass!" Jasdebi cackled, arms spread wide in some imitation of a crazed flamingo in winter garb.

"Shut up, Jasdebi!" Rhode snapped in response, looking back to Tiki sweetly. "It's our tree, Tiki. It'll look just perfect when we're looking up through the branches at home."

Tiki was silent for the longest of minutes, staring at the tree with a thoughtful expression. He had been the one to think of that… The others were just looking for a tree for Christmas. Finally, he smiled, reaching to ruffle Rhode's hair playfully. "You're right, Rhode. This one is perfect for us."


End file.
